Below are the lyrics for a song that is very special to Anja and I. It was this song that was playing in the back ground the first time we had one of our "more serious" kissing sessions. In addition, after it had this special meaning, I came to find out that someone that meant alot to me as a child and even today, had the inscription written on her tomb stone "As I lay me down to sleep". When I read that it sent shivers down my spine. The day I went to her grave after so many years, I didn't remember where it was, but fate had its way of reminding me. Below are the lyrics for the song, and a poem I wrote about my experience.
As I Lay Me Down To Sleep
Thinking of her after so many years,
Brought my soul to uncontrollable tears,
And then with the sadness in my heart,
I decided again to visit, for the physical to part
So off I went on a drive alone,
Quite, composed, out on my own
I pulled off the road, and went through the gates
But the office was closed, and that I did hate
For it had been many years since I came to shed tears
And remembering the spot could take many years
So I parked and I walked, and I looked at many graves
But sad as it may be, I could not find the site for my save
So into my van, I started to drive,
And it was then that a crow took a dive
So close to the glass, I slammed on the brake
I looked to my left, and wondered if it could be fate
For there stood the crow between two trees
I felt a trembling feeling in my knees,
I pulled over again to the side,
And towards the 2 trees I made my stride
And is I approached to stone that laid there,
I saw it was her grave and I became kind of scared
Could it be fate? Was it by chance,
But in a way it was spiritual romance
I felt an energy come over me,
A spiritual embrace of pure energy
And then I cried, not because I was sad,
But because I forgot, just what I had
She is with me now, throughout each day
And know I can feel her, I don't know what to say
Since that day, I sence her now like never before
And her positive energy, once again I’ve come to adore.
The Lyrics
My poem
Spiritual Remembrance
If the poem and the lyrics hasn't brought you at least close to thinking about crying, the let me add these final words.
Sophia B. Hawkins actually wrote the song for someone who was dying of cancer. The girl who I wrote about was named Megan Dawson. And in third grade, One day she just wasn't in school anymore. The teacher told us that she was sick, and might be gone for a while. At that time, death was not even close to being a reality, it was something that I didn't know, and I didn't understand.
I remember the day well, Mrs. Wiley, our 3rd grade teacher came in late that day.. In anticipation of what she was about to say, the class waited, unusually quite. We all sat attentive at our desks...as if we knew but we didn't.
She tried to address the class, and as I remember it, the first word she said was "Megan" and she lost her composure. The class knew on the spiritual level, but we were all so young... the concept of a classmate dying was incomprehensible, but yet it happened.
As a youth I had never been so insistent in my entire life;, I wanted to be at her funeral...
I remember standing there, on the day of her funeral, flowers in hand, unable to move... At such a young age for someone to mean so much is almost incomprehensible, even to me now. I stood awestruck, not able to believe or comprehend what was going on... Her sister Mindy came up to me, and it the sweetest voice asked if I had brought the flowers for her sister...
Unable to speak I remember her face, a forced smile, with nothing but pain underneath... All I could do is extend my hands for her too take the flowers which I had brought....I had looked into the casket at the church, but I could not do it at the funeral...I just couldn't’t come to grips with it.... and I didn't come to grips with it until years later.
Look at the wedding pictures, and look at Anja's face. A smile from ear to ear, she is someone who truly embraces life, she enjoys the smallest things, and doesn't take any experience for granted.. This is also true of our relationship... being apart for so long at a time, You learn to love every time you say hello, every time you say goodbye, every time you wake up next to each other, and every time you say goodnight. Each person has an energy, and her reminds me of Megan's... This remembrance came after I feel in love with her, and with it, it sealed my fate, to love her always and forever.
As I lay me down to sleep... I remain thankful to have such fond memories, and such a promising future.
